Rumor Mall

Can Tom Cruise have on-screen chemistry with Beyonce in Eastwood movie?

Mission Impossible star could sign onto "A Star is Born."

Many people have been rumored as the prospective lead to co-star with Beyonce in the remake of the classic and much-revamped film "A Star is Born." Prospective leading men have included Will Smith and Russell Crowe.

Never, however, has one speculated leading man seemed so ill-cast as Mr. Tom Cruise.

Friday Variety and Deadline revealed that they have inside sources saying Tom Cruise is close to landing the role in the film to be helmed by Clint Eastwood. These two industry mags are generally quite plugged into cinematic happenings, so their reports could prove reliable.

That makes me nauseous. Both Smith and Crowe would have been preferable to Cruise. I cannot see him connecting with Beyonce. Pardon me, but her version of womanhood is incredibly aggressive and dominant. Cruise seems a little too aw-shucks and delicate to be her on-scream flame. He's not wrestled with tigers as Crowe did in "Gladiator" and he hasn't sparred in a ring like Smith did for "Ali."

I love Tom Cruise; he's an amazing as an actor and could surely portray the role of a brooding, falling movie star. However, I just don't see him having chemistry with Beyonce. Furthermore, his acting style is intense and over-the-top; it would overwhelm and clash with the presence of Beyonce, who despite her high-octane music performances, is generic and forgettable as an onscreen. (for proof see "Obsessed" and "Dreamgirls.").

If this rumor turns out to be true, the only good thing that can come of this is that under Eastwood's deft directing and tutelage, Cruise may finally get his long deserved Oscar (and maybe, just maybe Beyonce can even learn how to act.)

Grading the Rumored Dancing with the Stars Contestants.

Has this series officially run out of stars?

I can think of plenty more interesting celebrities to dance the samba on the upcoming season of "Dancing with the Stars," which debuts March 19, than the four revealed this week by gossip site TMZ:

Jack Wagner, singer, soap star of "Bold and the Beautiful" and the former cast member of 1990s hit show "Melrose Place."
Sherri Shepherd, irritating dimwit of Barbara Walter's cackling hen morning show "The View."
Melissa Gilbert, the girl who played "Half Pint" or Laura Ingalls Wilder in the 1970s series "Little House on the Prairie." I used to adore Gilbert until she pitched a Twitter fit after the women of "The Talk" smashed a pie in her face during a guest appearance. She seems like a boring stick in the mud. Get ready for her to tweet her disdain for any pranks on DWTS.
Maria Menounos, the pretty, but cookie-cutter contributor to "Extra."

Maria and Jack might be interesting to watch, even if only for being eye-candy. So, I give producers a B- for casting them. Why not an A? What part of "stars" do producers not understand? Jack's heyday was decades ago when his hit single "You're All I Need" fall off the charts. And Maria has NEVER been a star; she only interviews them.

Casting Shepherd, who has shamelessly begged to prance her piglet rear on the show for years, is a definite F. She's infuriating on the "The View" so why do we need to see more of her? Not only is she so dimwitted that she thought the world was flat and didn't know there were people on earth before Jesus, but Sherri's one of those women who thinks they're funny, sexy and interesting, but they are none of the above. Watch her try to hog camera time while grinning incessantly, talking about abortions and thrusting her grossly oversized chest out for the world to see.

I like formerly freckled face Gilbert, but if she can't take a pie in the face joke, she's hardly ready for the stinging criticism from dance judges.

There are plenty of intriguing and provocative "stars" who are right now doing nothing, such as Eminem (can he dance as well as he can insult?), Mike Tyson (always good for a laugh), Justin Timberlake (hey, he's showing up on SNL every other week; this man needs something to do in his spare time), and John Mayer (doesn't he need some redemption and renewal of popularity?). Any of these people would have made for more interesting "star" entertainment.

Did the Woman who performed a song about oral sex at the Superbowl REALLY condemn M.I.A. for a lewd gesture???

As every sentient being on the globe knows, superstar lip-syncher and perennial provocateur Madonna lit up the Superbowl stage at half time, proving that 53 year old women can indeed by sexy when half dressed.

Completely, acting like Lady Gaga was a non-entity, Madonna invited all the contemporary weird and deranged singers who weren't named Gaga to perform on stage with her: Nicki Minaj, Cee-lo, LMFAO, and M.I.A. (See Gaga, this is what happens when you steal from Madonna and refuse to credit her as your inspiration).

At some point during the show, M.I.A decided to flash her middle finger to the TV camera, basically sending a big "F U" to audiences at home. (My take: So what.) Frankly, I watched live and didn't notice. I doubt kiddies watching noticed it anymore than I did. Media, however, blew the incident out of proportion and replayed it so much that I'm sure kids finally saw it and learned a new thing to do at the dinner table.

At first Madonna was quiet on the issue -- as she should have been. I mean this lady is Madame Renegade. She is a classic provocateur. She put out a sex book, took nude pictures, disclosed her personal liaisons with people like Dennis Rodman. Doesn't Madonna like the avant garde?

Surprisingly, Madonna spoke out Friday and said M.I.A's gesture was childish, "unnecessary," and "negative."

Woman?! Did you or did you not perform a song about fellatio Sunday? Did you or did you not bring out a choir and blasphemously get down on your knees to sing "Like a Prayer," which is ostensibly about taking a man to ecstasy while giving him oral sex? You have NO room for condemnation.

Please find M.I.A. Thank her for paying homage to your crass nature. Then apologize.

Kris Humphries' Proposal to Kim K. was staged for better filming? So What!

Tired of being booed at games and exasperated that he's looking like a Midwestern bumpkin on the national TV farce known as "Kourtney and Kim Take New York," Kris Dumphries appears to be encouraging his friends to tell gossip mags that he was told when and where to propose in order to please producers. The friends say Kris wanted to propose in his home state of Minnesota in a public place like the beach, but ended up proposing in Kim's bedroom in Los Angeles.

Oh, Boohoo, Kris. Or, better yet, just boo!!!

Your poor little innocent jock act is wearing thin.

You are 6'9" and 235 pounds. You constantly rant about putting women in their places and being "the Man." You deride Bruce Jenner and Scott Disick for being pansies too whipped by their Kardashian she-devils to stand up for themselves. Yet, you want us to believe your plans were helplessly derailed by big-butt baddy Kim? Please! You cannot have it both ways, Kris. Either you're the cave man in charge or you're not.

It's time for Kris to stop blaming the Kardashians for being one of the most hated men on earth. They didn't ruin you Kris, you ruined you.

Your friends can moan to media that the Kardashians are editing their show to destroy you, but darling, they can't edit personality. Your doofus facial expressions, your obnoxious humor, your impatience, and your sheer lack of relationship skills are all YOU! Even if the scenarios are staged and spliced together, Kid, you are the one responsible for the words coming out of your mouth. Each week, you sound more and more like the husband from hell.

At this point, *I* want a public divorce from you. Stop trying to go to the media and leak stories about Kim. People love her more than the Pope. She won, you loss. Live with it.

Are People Really not Seeing the Resemblance between Khloe Kardashian and Robert Kardashian, Sr.?

Dumb Rumors Persist that Khloe isn't a blood Kardashian

I find it odd anti-fans and media this week gave credence to reports from the late Robert Kardashian's former wives that Khloe was not Kardashian's biological daughter.

Yes, she looks different from her sisters. No, she doesn't look Armenian. Yes, her strawberry blonde curly baby hair makes her stand out in old family photos. Still, have you seen the outline and composition of Robert Kardashian's face? It very much resembles Khloe's. Their eyebrows, nose and mouths are similarly arranged.

The reality is that Khloe looks so different because Kim and Kourtney Kardashian both closely resemble their mother Kris Jenner. Kim is a virtual carbon-copy of Kris. Kourtney is a mix of her father and mother. Khloe doesn't look like Jenner at all.

The irony is that Khloe resembles Robert Kardashian far more than she resembles Kris Jenner. So,why does this rumor have legs? I think people just enjoy mocking this family. I have no idea why anyone would believe an ex-wife and widow who are obviously betraying Robert, Sr. by revealing something he allegedly told them in confidence. Why do they have more loyalty to us and the tabloids than to him or his children? Oh, right: money.

I'm sure they got paid handsomely to say these things.

No, I have no idea where Khloe's height comes from but I have brothers who were 6'5 and 6'3, but both my parents are under 5'10. Surely, some regressive genes from grandparents or great-grandparents are affecting Khloe. Or maybe she's an anomaly.

A day after the rumors came out, TMZ released court documents in which Kardashian referred to having "four biological kids," presumably including Khloe. Why would he, as an attorney, lie to the court?

Get over it people! Khloe might be weird and the black sheep of the family, but she's a Kardashian

Put lipstick on this man and he's Khloe!

Did Katie's Vanishing Sexual Appetite for Russell Really Kill her Marriage?

Sorry, Russell Brand. You're just not sexy enough.

This week in the tabloid soap opera “Katie & Russell Get Divorced,” it was revealed that the marriage imploded partially because songstress Katie Perry didn’t want to have sex as much as Russell Brand did. Apparently, this man stays ....up ...and is ready to hump whether Katie's cooking, brushing her teeth, or trying to get dressed for concert.

How true is this rumor?

I’m betting it’s 100 percent. But I understand Katie’s dilemma. Have you SEEN Russell Brand?

Exhibit 1:

Russell is just so....extra. He’s childish. He’s weird. He’s awkward. He’s one of those unfunny comedians that fails to entertain whether in a scripted movie or on the stand-up stage (And to think he actually told Katie she wasn’t entertaining when hosting SNL. Jerk).

In addition to all that, he’s not particularly handsome, masculine, fashion-forward or brainy. What’s there to cherish until death do us part? Not much. Frankly, I’m surprised Katie married him.

For a woman who kissed a girl and liked it to have no strong attraction for Russell Brand in the bedroom is pretty bad. I mean, he’s got long hair and could pass for a girl, but I guess Katie just wasn’t into play-pretend.

This is one divorce that should be put on fast forward. They never seemed like a perfect fit. The sooner Katie Perry and Russell Brand get the divorced the better.

I mean, this guy is so unhusband-like that he’s already going around telling reporters that he’s tempted to have orgies with multiple women now that the divorce papers are on file. Sounds like he got married before completely sowing his oats. Perhaps Katie wanted to tame him, but found she had buyer’s remorse.

Definitely #teamkatie.